Motherhood

Let's see, I have officially been a MOM for 6.5 mths...my how time flies! :) Technically though, I have been a MOM for 16.5 mths - b/c I carried Cristian for 10 months (yes, you read that right!) and that time counts too!! By the grace of God, I carried him without any complications - thankfully. But I also did my part to take extra special care of the life that was growing inside of me. I was priviledged beyond measure to carry this precious child that we all know and love named Cristian! :)

The topic of this post came to me just out of the blue today...so I decided to take a short break and get it out while it was fresh on my heart, otherwise I would get distracted by the gazillion other things in my life that pull at me from every direction. Mommy-brain is real...I know all of the Moms reading this understand what I mean w/out any explanation! :) This secret Motherhood thing has a gazillion perks - Moms understanding Moms is just one of them!

For me being a Mom to Cristian is one of the best things, if not THE BEST things, that has happened to me. God only knows just how grateful I am to have this precious little boy in my life...and to be the one that God chose to be his MOM! In the 6.5 mths. I have held this role I have grown and learned so much, from one small boy...and can not even imagine all that I have yet to learn in the lifetime ahead.

Dads - you are important too - don't get me wrong! My wonderful, loving husband is one in a million - he's the cream of the crop as far as I'm concerned. He has been an awesome friend and husband to ME and has been a wonderful and loving DAD to Cristian...he's just that good, plain and simple! We love you, Bubi. But I digress...the point of this post is about me being a MOM to Cristian and what I have learned so far.

When I used to hear people say being a parent (or MOM) is the hardest but most rewarding job in the world I never could fully understand what that meant b/c until Cristian came along I only had myself, Jose and Scooby to worry about (note - I always worry for my loved ones, my family and friends - but I'm talking my immediate family circle - the people I shared a home with). I thought that was enough to worry about...boy was I wrong!! LOL! That was only scratching the surface. :) Being a MOM is all that times about a million!

Being a MOM has taught me so many things...let me hi-light some below.

*To be unselfish. I put Cristian's needs before my own even when I'm dog tired and just pure exhausted mentally and physically. It's an automatic response that comes natural. It's that primal instinct to take care of your baby no matter what the cost. His needs are met first and then mine and Jose's. When my bones are weary and I'm feeling like I need a boost of caffeine straight to my veins all it takes to snap me back is to see that sweet face...those big brown eyes and those chubby cheeks!! :)

*To be patient and accept a change in plans. Having an infant I've learned to be more patient b/c he's so small and new to this world that he relies on me to guide him and show him the way. He is not going to pick up on things instantly and watching him grow is teaching me a lesson in patience. Yes, he's growing quickly but in stages...its all at Cristian's pace, not mine. I am not the most organized person in the world, but I do like some type of order. You can plan and plan and plan and having an infant you learn that plans have a way of falling apart mid-flight!! No matter how much precision you take in planning the details ultimately the baby dictates your schedule now. Feedings, diaper changes, naps, spit-up stained clothes requiring a change after you've buckled baby in their carseat...LOL, all these things are like monkey-wrenches in whatever plans you thought you had!! I have always been infamously late...now, forget about it!

*To stop and smell the roses. I know it sounds ironic. I'm busier than ever now being a MOM - so how can I stop and smell the roses when things are moving faster than the speed of light?! But raising Cristian I have a different view on life...that's ever changing. It's like by having a baby you are allowed to see the world thru their eyes too...what a blessing! When I say "stop and smell the roses" I mean to slow down and appreciate the quiet moments in life more...to stop running around like a mad person trying to do it all. The superficial things in life seem to melt away and the really important stuff takes center stage. I have learned that babies don't keep...meaning every moment they are changing and growing and if you put other priorities before them you'll miss out on so much! For example: a clean house is nice...but I've learned I am not Super Mom...I am human. If I do not have the time to clean the house as much as I would like but instead spend some quality time with MY BOYS (nowadays this refers to Jose and Cristian - and Scooby) then that's by far more important. I would rather miss having a clean house than to miss one, single moment in my families life! Time is moving all around us no matter what we might be going thru...so instead of wasting time on the superficial stuff that really doesn't matter...why not jump in with reckless abandon and enjoy every moment with the people that you love!?? Having Cristian I have gotten over that hang-up of trying to do it all before enjoying myself...and now I choose the reckless abandon route...I don't want to waste precious time on whats really important to me...my precious, precious FAMILY!

*A greater respect and appreciation for my extended Family. Now that I am a MOM I see things differently than I did in my younger days. I have an even greater respect for my own Mom b/c now I see a glimpse of the journey that she traveled as a new Mom over 30 yrs. ago. I love my Mom so much and appreciate the relationship that we have today...sure its had its bumps and bruises but it all had to happen in order to get to where we are today. I appreciate my Mom in so many ways...and I thank her for understanding me and giving me the room to make plenty of mistakes and loving me along the way...she's a great woman and I am proud to call her Mom. One day I hope Cristian is as proud of me as I am of my Mom! :)

There are so many others that are right up there with my Mom (namely Mama & Papa Moon) and I don't want to be remiss and leave them out...but to keep this short and sweet let's just say you know who you are! :) And I love you all just as much and thank you immensely for all that you have taught me and given to me in my life.

I will close this post now...b/c I don't want to get too far off course here. I know I will never be a perfect MOM to Cristian, but my intentions in this life are to be the best MOM I can be to him (and our future children)...and I pray and hope that Cristian knows just how much I love him. It's a love that is unconditional...that will not change no matter what. I know we will disappoint one another and we will be angry with one another and we will disagree with one another and we will not see eye to eye on certain things....and the list goes on...........but one thing I can surely say with all my heart and soul is that I will always be there for Cristian as his MOM and I guess at the end of the day I want him to know without a shadow of a doubt that he can come to me, always, with whatever is on his mind and that I will be there to lean on and to depend on and to support him and to encourage him and to carry him and to listen to him and to love him with reckless abandon and to forgive him if he - or I should say when he - does/says something that angers me or hurts me. I want to live and breathe the example that I am teaching him to be.

Ahhh, after all this I feel lighter inside. This was on my heart and I just felt the need to share.

Sorry if I went all over the place with my writing...I just typed and didn't really worry if it all made perfect sense!

And lastly, to my precious little boy Cristian - I love you more than all the stars in the sky...endlessly, unconditionally, for all time! xoxoxoxox You are my precious gift...thank you for being YOU! I thank God for you...to see the world thru your eyes is a gift and I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful son - you are my everything! :)